Holiday... Blues?

  The holidays are upon us and it's always been my favorite time of year, but this year has been different. My wife and I were told about the holiday blues, but I don't think we knew how much it was going to affect us. This holiday season has felt bittersweet to me. Always love being around family and friends. That time with them helps to live in the moment a little more, but there are always moments where I can't help but miss my baby girl. At the same time, family time never feels complete anymore because she's not here. That's something that's crept into my mind throughout this holiday season. I just remember her and the joy she brought us last year being able to spend her first holiday season together. It's probably like a drug addict chasing that first high. The first one was so great that you try to get that feeling back, but you know it's never going to be as good as the first time. The pain has been the same all the way through these past 7 months as the first day, but like I've said before, it becomes apart of your life and you just learn how to live with it. There are still moments though, where I feel her spirit and her love.

   Yesterday was a beautiful day. I got to see my brother in law and sister in law get sealed to their beautiful daughter. When they were getting sealed, I felt Kahea's presence so strongly in the room. It was more of a comforting presence rather than a missing her one, but the whole moment was very special.  (Proud of you Kai and Kieran. Love you both.) I see a lot of Kahea in her cousin, Kalaia. You can definitely tell they are related through some of their Ah Quin features. I really think they would've been best friends, and sometimes it's bittersweet to see Kalaia because I do see so many similarities. Not that I don't love seeing my niece, but I wish they could have grown up together in this life. At the same time however, only the lord knows how much attitude could have been in the same room, so maybe it's a good thing they won't be teenagers together. Lol, just playing. I would put up with anything to have her here still. So I'm grateful that I get to still see a piece of her in my beautiful baby niece.

   I don't know if it's the holiday season or what, but it's been awkward with people as well. It's like people don't know how to act around us so they act like nothing happened. I know people don't know how to handle the situation so it's going to be awkward at times, but don't be afraid to talk to us. We're still the same Dom and Nani. You don't have to be afraid to talk about Kahea. We appreciate those who ask about her and our family. We still love all our family and friends and we our relationships to continue to grow with people.
   So as the holidays are upon us, Merry Christmas, happy new year, and happy holidays to everyone. We're grateful for all the love and support that we received this year. Enjoy your guys time with family and loved ones. You never know when it's going to end. And to 2018, thank you for all of the good moments and lessons that you taught me. There were a lot of great moments this year brought us, but if I'm being honest, I will not miss this year. Definitely the hardest year of my life by a long shot. Many things not documented and the biggest of all losing my baby girl. There are so many of you going through trials this holiday season as well, and I hope your burdens can be made light. I hope, if you are, that my message can help in some way. You're not alone, and I hope you can feel love and joy through whatever everyone is going through. Times can be hard, and no one knows what you're going through like you do. So just be mindful of other people. There's a show on Hulu called, "A million little things." In this weeks episode two of the characters, Gary and Maggie are standing in line to buy some decorations for Christmas. While they were in line, this couple just cuts in front of them, because they were worried about themselves. Gary and Maggie start to make comments to make the couple feel dumb, but the lady decides to be even more rude and tell them she's not feeling so good. Little did she know that Maggie has breast cancer for the second time, and Gary had been in remission for a whole year from breast cancer. Sometimes when we go through things, we forget other people have their own problems they're dealing with as well. So if I've ever done that I'm sorry, I just want to spread some love and joy these holidays because I know it's hard. Still I do have so much to be grateful for and I don't take that for granted, but I've never looked forward to a new year like I am for this up and coming year. So from myself, Nani, Naia, and Kahea... Merry Christmas and happy holidays!